Newlyweds. Goofballs. Movie stars. We are Carbonated Jeans.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A first REAL post...

Ok, so, I got it out of my system. Given Tab's ability to whip words around until they form a rich creamy lather, I suspect my attempts to log the events surrounding our life together will be somewhat...basic by comparison.

So, wedding plans, they are a'happening. I've intentionally let Tab plan things as she sees fit, getting involved only when something I REALLY don't like is about to take place.

And a good thing too.

My ideas for a wedding ceremony would have been remarkably That is to say, probably have more explosions and fire-based distractions. I thought of blank gunpowder-actuated trumpets blasting as she marched forward, combined with pneumatic confetti dispensers actuated when we are told "you may now kiss the bride."

Some ideas still might make it in. I am working on an idea to get magnesium strips such that the candles can be lit via a bright-white flare, sure to catch anyone's attention, and light the candles without struggle.

Another idea I had was a remotely triggered flower girl dispenser system, remotely actuated by an adult, so the flower girl would simply have to haul the basket up the aisle. I mean, how many weddings have you been to where the flower girl either dumps her load at the very beginning, then wonders what she is supposed to do next, or runs up the aisle, having failed to drop even a petal after her basket. Of course, she *could* run up the aisle with a show-basket, and hit a button, and pre-mounted dispensers on the aisle could auto-dispense their entire load of flowers into the aisle, enabling a uniform distribution of petals across the entirety of the center aisle. Or her dad could trigger a pre-mounted cart that would race ahead of them, dropping petals the entire way uniformly.

Someone suggested a version of a seed mulcher dispensing petals. However, I think it might give some the mistaken notion that we are, in fact, serving in-chapel refreshments, and would upset them greatly to discover that not only is ice cream unavailable, but there is no documentation that can tell them how many points they are on a weight watcher's scale.

Early on in the planning, I was stressing the cost of a limo ride from the wedding hall to the reception hall until Tab reminded me that they are 50 ft. from each other. I'm still thinking that still might a possibility.

Just to be weird...

Fr1st P0st!

I've always wanted to do this:

In Soviet Russia, Hot Grits invented Al Gore to data crunch the information in 4 libraries of congress. Imagine a Beowulf Cluster of these things.

All your eyeballs are belong to us, and BSD is dying: Netcraft says so, you insensitive clod!